


I Will Go Sailing No More

by Firelord124



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Emotional Baggage, I just spent six months in a leaky boat, M/M, Sailor AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-08 03:57:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20829029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firelord124/pseuds/Firelord124
Summary: To escape himself, Rantaro Amami is tempted to the sea, and to the alluring promises it holds; however, his relationship with the sea becomes gradually more complex, as he meets the enthusiastic, seagoing Shuichi Saihara. Though their relationship grows, it seems that the past is never far behind.





	I Will Go Sailing No More

There is always something special about the sea.

Perhaps it is the romantic thought of water all around, of sailing off into the sunset on a sheet of silver, gliding through smoothly and with the wind gently brushing, soft upon the skin. Whatever it is, it becomes evident to Rantaro as he stands upon the shoreline, gazing out towards the horizon. 

To be starting off from the shore, and into the water, would be the starting point of an unknown adventure. There is nothing to tell where he could end up and upon which shores. The thought held him, as beside him, the wide expanse of the beach was empty; it was early dawn, and faint rays of sunlight were just beginning to make their way up the sky. Wave after wave gently nudged at his feet. He was immersed in the salty air, and with the sensation of being alone.

The waves seemed to be pulling him away from shore, and toward the great expanse of ocean beyond. His mind went into overdrive, concocting new adventures, and it was with a haphazard mind, that he made his decision. Lulled by the sea, he decided to become a part of it.

A week later, he sailed out, into the unknown, on a ludicrously small yacht. The land became smaller and smaller, until he was surrounded by a magnanimous, unsteady, ground of blue. He could not begin to fathom its depths, or what it contained. He often found himself lost for hours, peering into it, a single person on a tiny yacht, surrounded by blue all around. The idea amused him, and he found himself reflecting on the nature of the sea. When day turned into night, he was gently rocked by the waves, into hours of deep and silent dreams.

\---

Some weeks later, Rantaro was compelled to return to shore. His provisions were running low, but by no means did he intend to remain on solid ground, for longer than necessary. Inside him now was the call of the sea, a strong, old bond that had lured many a sailor towards it, and towards their loss. He had heard plenty of tales of sailors lost at sea, never to see land again, devoured by the waves, sinking below them, losing themselves to the will of the ocean. He had heard them all told under dim lights by old and crusty sailors, as they nursed their beers and spoke in near whispers, still walking with legs spread apart, taking large, careful steps across the tavern as if the ground was swaying.

But he was not afraid. Especially at a time when he had nothing left to lose.

As the yacht docked, and Rantaro made his way onto land, he was astonished by the person who awaited him. He had not asked for any such person, and he was pleasantly surprised by the fervour on the other’s face, by a keen but cautious energy, that the person seemed unable to contain. The person strode up toward him, and quickly extended his arm.

“Hello there! I’m Shuichi Saihara, and I was the person sent to be in charge of docking your yacht! I must say, she’s a real beauty, I haven’t seen many of-”

Stopping himself mid-sentence, Shuichi suddenly turned a violent shade of red, and looked away quickly, realising that he had divulged more than was really necessary. There was a brief, awkward pause, as he fumbled for words. Rantaro allowed a small smile, and decided to put the man at ease.

“Rantaro Amami. A pleasure to meet you.”

Nervously, Shuichi raised his eyes toward Rantaro, and managed a weak smile.

“I am so sorry! I usually do not get carried away like this, but it has been a while since I had seen such a wonderful yacht. All I usually see and help with are large cargo ships, and they don’t contain nearly half as much beauty as this yacht; they are large, metal hulks of iron, driven mercilessly by overbearing captains. This, though, is something completely different.”

The young man’s excitement was infectious; Rantaro was beginning to feel it too, under the other’s shyness. Shuichi was evidently a man who desired to be near the sea, who felt as strongly attached to it as he did, but not to the point of neglecting land. The thought of being so close to something so desirable, and yet not closing the distance completely, mystified Rantaro. 

“Do you enjoy working near the sea?”

The young man’s features brightened still further.

“Absolutely! I think there’s something absolutely magnetic that draws me towards it. My uncle’s father was a sailor, I believe, so it is in the family blood. My uncle used to bring me to the shore once every few weeks, to meet him. He always brought the best presents. From all around the world, from every port that he went to; it was amazing.” 

Shuichi stopped again, with a nervous smile, his eyes never quite meeting Rantaro’s. 

“Would you want to go to sea, if you had the chance?”

Rantaro asked the question softly, and yet the response it produced in Shuichi was astonishing. The young man raised his head, and met Rantaro’s eyes for the first time. They were sparkling, and yet Shuichi’s face was determined, his mouth stretched into a thin line.

“I’d give anything for that.”

Taken aback by the young man’s intensity, Rantaro remarked:

“But wouldn’t your uncle miss you?”

The spark in Shuichi’s eyes dimmed, and he shuffled his feet nervously. For the first time, he looked vulnerable and shrunken.

“No. Not anymore.”

The silence between them hung awkwardly for a moment, as Rantaro struggled to find a reply. 

“I managed to give him a proper burial at sea, like what we gave his father. They were practically bonded to the sea, it’s unimaginable in a way.” Shuichi shook his head slowly. “But it seemed like my family was practically born from the sea.”

Rantaro gave a hesitant smile.

“I think,” he said slowly, remembering the pull he had felt all those weeks and months ago, “I can imagine such a bond. It’s what I have, and what I see in you as well.”

Shuichi looked up, astonished.

“Do you think so?”

Rantaro gave a nod of assent. Shuichi was evidently of the sea, who loved it and yet was separated from it by just a sliver. He decided to form a proposal.

“What do you say to joining me on my yacht?”

The response was immediate. Shuichi grinned, a smile which uplifted Rantaro upon seeing it. It was a youthful smile, which still held all the lofty expectations of a young child, heading toward adulthood. It sent a twinge inside of him; it was the same attitude that he had. He forced down the feeling as he returned the smile, and together he and Shuichi walked towards the yacht. Two days later, they left the docks together.

\---

With another person aboard the yacht, Rantaro felt that the dynamics of his relationship with the sea had changed. It was now no longer a phantasmagorical, romantic love affair in which the two lovers had only each other in their most intimate moments. It was now a complex love triangle, and he was internally drained at the thought that another person would be privy to his secret. 

However, throughout the following weeks, he found that his relationship to Shuichi was growing. The other would spend hours on deck, striding along its short length, occasionally stopping and listening to the lapping sound of the waves, as they gently caressed the side of the yacht. Among other characteristics, this was one of them that endeared him to Rantaro the most. Nights were spent in the dim light of one swinging lightbulb, as they both sat as close to an open porthole as they could. The crisp sea breeze swept over them, its scent alluring to behold. Rantaro would listen to Shuichi recount stories that his uncle had relayed to him, of long sea voyages, and of all the distant lands that his uncle, along with his father before him, had encountered. The tales of distant ports, of exotic treasure allured them both, and they found themselves experiencing echoes of it during the night.

Rantaro began to see Shuichi as an institution of the yacht, and began to realise that he could not have imagined sailing without him. He remembered back to the weeks before, when it was just him alone with his own thoughts, and the ocean. It seemed to be a distant memory, and he was astonished to how he could have found that experience as delightful. He wanted the current moment to last as long as he could.

Life never works out that easily; someone from above must have consequently decided to have some entertainment at his expense.

\---  
_ He was drowning. Unable to move as he sunk deeper and deeper. The view around him was beginning to fade, as the light faded away, and he flailed his arms and legs, trying to move upwards. However, there was a magnetism that kept drawing him downwards. All he could see below him was a growing darkness, that was gently creeping in and giving him a presentiment of dread._

_His arms and legs began to still, despite his desperation, and he suddenly realised that they were not responding to his commands. He was losing control of himself, and it was as if another being was controlling him, as he turned his head towards the side, and his eyes fell upon a large shape beside him. Rantaro tried to shut his eyes, but they would not move. With his pulse quickening, he realised the smaller beings that made up the shape._

_He saw a line of faces, horribly blank and expressionless. The eyes were blank, but the mouths were open, shouting things that he could not hear. He felt a twinge of recognition inside of him, and a great outpouring of grief that he could not control. As he tried to reach them, however, he realised that the arms of the beings were reaching toward him. _

_As they sank deeper and deeper, the reaching arms became more difficult to see, and the faces gradually began to contort and melt into each other. Then -_

\---  
Rantaro woke shaking, in darkness, with the beginning of tears in his eyes.  
\---  
He realised that they were in danger, as soon as the skies turned gray, and dark, angry clouds descended upon them. 

The yacht was tossed in the midst of large, seismic waves, and for the first time, Rantaro realised how completely they were at the mercy of the sea. Shuichi shouted about reaching the sail, but Rantaro had difficulty hearing him. He felt icy shards on his skin, and had barely enough time to register what they were, before the heavens opened up, and he was completely drenched with water, as if he had fallen into the sea.

As water fiercely fell upon the deck, and Shuichi struggled to keep the course steady, Rantaro gripped the line that kept the sail upright, and anchored himself to the deck. He tried not to think, and concentrated solely on the one goal of keeping the ropes taut. He let himself be free from his body, and watched himself move along with the yacht.

They were tossed backwards and forwards, as the waves seemed to cover their entire view, and for a few moments, Rantaro had the thought that perhaps they would not survive this wave, or the next. This thought did not distress him as much as he thought. He eventually realised that it did not matter, and, as the rains abated and the winds grew less severe, he found himself taking a serene approach. His was only loosely gripping the rope at that point, and he did not completely share in Shuichi’s relief, clear upon the other’s face, as the yacht finally stabilised.

\---

“Do you know of the Kraken?”

Rantaro looked round at Shuichi, who was thoughtfully looking towards the horizon, from the front of the yacht. The frown on his face conveyed his thoughts of the storm they had just barely survived. 

The sea was calm now, with the surface almost smooth, but Rantaro now realised that this was not a good indicator of what was to come. The sea was absurdly capricious, with calm seas giving way almost within minutes. He now realised that the smooth surface concealed a much more turbulent and unpredictable force.

When Shuichi mentioned the Kraken, therefore, he was taken off-guard, both out of surprise for the sudden comment, but also of the relevance of the comment to his current thoughts. He gave a slight smile.

“I’d think every sailor worth his salt knows it.”

Internally, he felt an icy hand grip him, with the fingers digging sharply in and twisting. The image of the Kraken was emblazoned in his mind, the mythological sea monster, which lived in the darkest recesses at the bottom of the ocean, which dragged hundreds of sailors to their deaths with its long, squid-like tentacles, crushing entire ships in the process. 

All of a sudden, Rantaro began to feel restricted in his movements, almost like a wide cage was gently and slowly closing in around the yacht, with the bars nearly within sight. He shut his eyes for the briefest of seconds; he did not want to guess at what would happen if the walls of the cage welded together indefinitely, closing them in.

\---

The sunset on the water was a splendid sight, throwing the skies around the yacht into a variety of pinks, purples and oranges. The waves splashed against the side of the yacht, as Rantaro and Shuichi sat together watching as the day turned into night. They were completely alone; no other ships were on the water, and the waves lie unbroken. It was one of those instances that enchanted Rantaro, and made him forget about everything that had been. He was, for once, in the moment, and he was indulging himself in the sight. He felt Shuichi stretch behind him, and felt, for the last time, completely at peace with himself. What had chased him in the back of his mind, had temporarily given up. 

He almost sensed the moment when Shuichi broke the silence.

“I really enjoyed our journey together, Rantaro. In spite of everything, the sea was everything I imagined it to be.”

Rantaro started from his reverie at the wording. It felt as if Shuichi was planning on leaving his company, and he unconsciously shivered. He laughingly replied:

“You say that as if you will be leaving the yacht soon.”

Shuichi blinked, and for a moment his features became less dreamy. His grin lessened, and his eyes became more serious. Rantaro realised that the memories chasing Shuichi, whatever they were, had returned in full force.

“It’s just that - well-”

Taking a deep breath, and looking away, Shuichi continued:

“I’ve realised that - that I can’t spend my entire life on the yacht, r-right? It had been a great, wonderful experience, but we’ll both have to return to reality s-soon. That means returning to the coast.”

A silence followed Shuichi’s comment; Rantaro was momentarily speechless at the thought, as he visualised the thought of docking, of returning to shore. The monsters in his psyche were returning, and they were much closer to him than he originally thought, right behind him. 

The splashing of the waves became louder, and Shuichi’s grin had faded completely. He looked forlorn, still unable to meet Rantaro’s gaze.

“I’m sorry if I made it unpleasant; I-”

Rantaro managed a weak smile as he replied, placing a hand on Shuichi’s shoulder:

“Not to worry. I’m sure that you’ll have to leave the yacht before long. I understand that. However, I think that I would prefer staying here a bit longer, although-”

Meeting Shuichi’s glance for the first time, Rantaro was astonished to realise that the other had the beginnings of tears at the edges of his eyes. 

“- The time I spent with you was the best period of my life I can remember. I will miss you once you leave.”

Shuichi managed a smile through his tears, and Rantaro realised suddenly that the sun had completely sunk below the horizon. The skies around them were darkening, and the wind was growing stronger. He could feel the icy fingers gripping after him. 

\---  
Rantaro was awakened abruptly, as he was thrown from his bed. Momentarily stunned, he had barely enough time to react, before the door to his room was flung open. He saw Shuichi, disheveled and panicked, standing in the doorway.

“Hurry! We’re in the middle of another storm!”

As Rantaro struggled to find his bearings, Shuichi had already rushed towards the front of the yacht, and had gripped on as he tried to stabilise the yacht, which was tilting violently amidst the waves. The sea was inky black, and Rantaro could only hear the violent splashing of the water, as he ran to the front of the yacht. Within seconds, he was soaked, and the coldness of the water woke him completely from his sleep. Shuichi was barely visible in his sight of vision; Rantaro could only distinguish his face, which was now pale with dread.

Another wave rushed forward to meet them, and Rantaro leaned instinctively to ride it out. He saw Shuichi, ahead of him, attempt to do the same, grabbing for his rope. He saw the rope slide from his hands, and he watched as Shuichi fumbled desperately for it. He saw the panic flare up, and the hands shake. Then, the wave had towered over them, large as the Kraken, and he saw Shuichi open his mouth, screaming something that he could not hear. 

Then, Shuichi was not there anymore. The wave had him in its grasp, as it crashed onto the yacht, and Rantaro was engulfed by darkness, unaware he was screaming too, with a deathgrip on the rope that connected him to the vessel. It felt as if the sea had consumed him with its ancient tentacles, as if he was sinking down, towards the bottom, where the light could not reach. 

Then, just as suddenly, he found he was breathing, and he realised that the wave had passed. He tasted seawater in his mouth, and felt it in his ears, in his eyes.

Shaking himself, Rantaro rubbed at his eyes, frantically, until they let in light, and he saw the yacht again. He was riding the waves, barely keeping afloat.

Shuichi was nowhere to be seen. Feeling an overwhelming disbelief wash over him, Rantaro screamed for Shuichi, again and again, unwilling to believe the truth.

Shuichi had been bonded with the sea.

\---

An undefinable amount of time later, Rantaro sat onboard his ruined yacht, again surrounded by calm waters. He paid it no attention, however. He was not so much looking to the horizon this time, but to the sea, as if trying to gaze beneath the surface, to whatever was beneath there.

He should have known. He should have seen it coming. How could he have ever thought that he would love the sea, and trust in it so blindly?

With disgust, he cast his mind back, when he had stood on the shoreline, as the waves lapped at his feet and ankles, and he had thought of adventure. He could not bear to imagine how naive he had been, how optimistic.

Why had he been so intent on sailing?

The thought struck him, and lodged in his head, like a splinter, throbbing with a consistent pain. He thought of the dream, of the tentacles reaching toward him. Finally, he remembered.

Shuichi was sitting beside him, on the yacht, averting his eyes from Rantaro’s glance. The beginning of tears were making their way down his face. The sun was setting.

_“We’ll both have to return to reality soon.”_

The words echoed in his mind, as if they had just been spoken. Rantaro grimaced, as he stood up abruptly, and gripped at the handrails at the front of the yacht. 

Was that it? Did he love the sea at all, when he set off on his foolish quest? Or was it another pitiable attempt to lose himself from what was pursuing him?

_He remembered their faces, as the sheets were pulled off._  
_“Do you recognise them?” they asked him. “We need somebody from their family to identify them.”_  
_“They didn’t suffer a bit. Didn’t see it coming at all. Looks like somebody was negligent.”_

Rantaro suddenly realised that the voices were coming from beneath the waves, from somewhere far below the surface. They seemed to beckon to him.

_“I will miss you once you leave.”_

Rantaro gripped the bars, until his hands were white. He stayed that way for a long time, staring down at the water below him. He eventually closed his eyes, and climbed up the railing. 

The silence of the sea was broken with a splash.


End file.
